Why are you not LOVING YOURSELF?? by Nmita Chokseyy

NurtuHer
3 min readFeb 26, 2021

The question above shook me up 6 years back and made me question a lot of things about my own self.

Simple background ,limited skills, Decent Job, average looking ordinary girl with extraordinary Dreams have been my Inner Identity before I faced the above question from a Very Successful and Famous Woman in the Business World.

At first let me tell you why this question came to me; I was going through a phase in my Life wherein nothing was working fine in the area of my Health and Relationships. Being a sensitive girl I have been caring about all my Relationships and were trying really hard to keep everyone around me happy and content but still some or other things have been happening and I have been worried about losing few very important relationships of my life.

I started giving reasons about why things are not working, started pointing out mistakes which others were making, started to complain about behaviors of people and a lot more. I was so focused on what was happening in my outer world that my Inner Peace was getting compromised.

While all this was going on I got an opportunity to meet someone very Successful; A Woman who has been and will always be my ideal in the world of Business.

I got happy that now she will give me a solution about how to correct all these behaviors of people. Truly grateful to her that she sat with me and did listen to all my concerns.

The moment I was done sharing things from my side she in a very calm and composed voice asked me a question ‘Nmita tell me one thing: WHY ARE YOU NOT LOVING YOURSELF?’. I honestly don’t know what happened to me when she asked this question, tears started rolling down my cheeks and I felt a sudden silence inside. She did not tell me anything else after asking this question and I got all my answers.

I understood what she was trying to tell/teach me. I was so focused on keeping everyone happy with fear of losing them that losing myself and not loving myself was totally getting ignored. To me, until that moment of realization, the Self Love concept was alien and I used to feel that if I think about myself then I am a Selfish person.

But Sweetheart let me tell you something there is a difference between being Self-centered and Self-Interested, the essence of Self-Love is being Self-Interested not Self-centered.

After that moment of realization I started studying about this concept of Self-Love and understood that “the only person to whom I can change and work upon is Me Myself” I can’t change anybody in my outer world. Understanding and accepting this fact is the beginning of Self-Love.

I started studying Myself to actually understand who I am and what I like, dislike, my strengths, weaknesses, my open confrontations with self started so that I can be in the continuous path of progress in the area of Self-Love. I noted down all my feelings on a piece of paper and trust me that’s where the Journey of transformation began and my Eyes started to see the beauty of Life which was not otherwise visible to me because of Self-Pity.

So if you could relate with this small story of my Life then let’s begin the Journey of Self-Love by starting to Learn about our own selves. Take a piece of paper & pen, have a hot cup of tea/coffee and start writing down all about yourself and trust me you will end up feeling light and I bet by the time you finish you will have teary eyes and smiley lips.

Take care & God Bless.

Thank You for reading.

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